LAMY NOTO BALLPOINT PEN

I grew up leafing through Der Spiegel, the German news magazine. My Dad was Germany-German, and used to pick it up from the specialty store we went to for all the German goodies. Like dark beer, chocolate, bread, ham, liverwurst, and black currant juice. It was a serious, sober, even dour magazine. I remember after the 1980 presidential election that TIME, Newsweek, the Washington Post, all had pictures of a smiling Ronald Reagan on their covers to announce his victory. Der Spiegel had a picture of a dejected Jimmy Carter. That’s just the kind of magazine it was. At least, that’s how I remember it.

Inside, they had really long, really serious articles, about really long, really serious subjects. Also, an almost unbelievable knack for getting the most unflattering photos of politicians. Comical, really.

It was big, too. Close to 200 pages, every week. So there were a lot of ads. For German stuff, mostly. Banks, stores, insurance, clothes, cars. And, every so often, pens. Lamy pens.

I love drawing and doodling. All my notebooks, from first grade through grad school, are about equal parts writing and doodles. I loved magic markers, and pencils, and pens. Especially Lamy pens. There was something mysterious about them. I only ever saw them in those black and white ads in Der Spiegel. Serious, sober, functional, and cool. Back then, they were hard to find in the States.

Then I did study abroad in Vienna, and there were Lamys all over the place. Every stationer, every school-supply department carried them. So I got a nice Lamy ballpoint. I don’t know what model it is, but they don’t make it anymore. I still use it occasionally.

But when I wandered into a small pen shop near Grand Central a couple of years ago, something caught my eye. It was a new Lamy pen, the Noto. Simple, clean, but not boring. I tried it out – fantastic! It was substantial without being heavy, and wrote really smoothly. The clicking action was solid, not plasticky. What a great pen. When they told me it was twelve dollars, I actually asked if they were sure.

Now, when I go to really long, really serious meetings about really long, really serious subjects, I have my new Lamy Noto with me. I never show my notes to anybody, though. They’re equal parts writing and doodles.

HISTORY

The Lamy brand first showed up in 1952, even though the company started in 1930 selling fountain pens under a different name.

STANDOUT FEATURE/WHAT MAKES IT GREAT

It doesn’t just look cool, it’s a great pen for writing.

CHEAP?

Yup.

VALUE (GREATNESS/PRICE RATIO)

12 bucks for world-class design and performance. I give it a score of NFW (no ‘effin way)

CATCH

None that I can think of. Right now.

BONUS

Most pen shops will let you switch out the cartridge for a different color ink or a different line width when you buy the pen. I prefer the broad in blue.

REALLY HIDDEN?

Yes, it’s so subtle you have to look right at it to notice it. Also, it’s usually not on the top shelf at most pen shops.

HOW TO GET IT

Most pen shops carry them. You can also get them online at Amazon.

AVAILABLE IN BLACK?

Yes.

MERCIAN PROFESSIONAL ROAD BIKE FRAME

I’ve always thought of the bicycle as tied for the most civilized machine invented. So far, at least. A basic, standard bicycle can get you over roads, sidewalks, paths, trails, lawns, soccer fields, and empty lots pretty much as fast as you would want/can handle. All the speed, the power, the getting-to-where-you’re-going, comes from your own legs. A miracle, almost. And, if you’re in the right frame of mind, a total blast.

One time, in the Summer between fifth and sixth grades, me and a friend rode our bikes a hundred miles in a single day. It was a real adventure, even though we never left the DC suburbs. I had never ridden that far before, and was happy when we rolled into a McDonald’s along the way. That was the first time I ever ate two Quarter Pounders.

When I got my first bonus, a good chunk of a lifetime later, I wanted to spend it on a really nice bike. Of course Shimano Dura Ace for the components. But the frame? I spent weeks going shop to shop, reading bike magazines, talking to other bikers. Talking to bike messengers, because they really know their shit. What bubbled up was this: no three people could agree on which was the best frame, but everyone agreed that it would be expensive. Also, steel is better than aluminum.

You notice this if you ride more than a couple of miles. Steel, with its elastic, springy properties, is more stable than aluminum. Stability gives you control, and control is what makes a long ride fun.

Then one day I walked into a store that had a shiny, retro-looking frame hanging in the window. It was a Mercian. They’re a small framebuilder in England, mostly making frames to order. All of them steel.

I ordered one, the Professional, black with a white barber pole design on the seat stay. I waited eight impatient weeks for it. I picked it up after work. I had to walk it home on the sidewalk, wearing my suit and tie. 35 blocks. I didn’t care.

My first ride it looked like rain. I hate to ride when it’s raining, but I was too excited about my new bike, my great components, my own design, which I thought was cool. So I went out anyway. Up to the park. There was hardly anyone there, riding or otherwise. I got in one lap before it started, a few heavy drops at first, then sheets. I passed right by 'my' exit. Laughing at myself for getting caught in the rain, I didn’t even slow down.

I caught up to another biker, soaking wet and still pushing hard. I passed him and smiled, not at him but to myself. When it comes to riding, I’m a little competitive. After a long, sweeping turn, he started to catch up to me. I guess we were both a little competitive, and knew that we were the only idiots out there that night. What was the point, I wondered to myself, of riding this hard in the rain? As he passed me, he turned his head and said “This is how you know you love it.”

Yes, that was it.

When I got home, I took a hot bath, and went out to get something to eat. I went to McDonald’s, why not, and got a Quarter Pounder. I almost ordered two.

HISTORY

Mercian opened their framebuilding shop in 1946 near Derby, England.

STANDOUT FEATURE/WHAT MAKES IT GREAT

Custom-made for your dimensions, and to suit your biking style.

CHEAP?

Not really. Frames start at just under a thousand bucks, plus or minus, depending on the dollar/pound exchange rate.

VALUE (GREATNESS/PRICE RATIO)

Hand-made, custom-fit, custom-finished frames for less than a quarter of  what other framebuilders charge? I say it’s FOTW (effing-out-of-this-world).

CATCH

Pretty hard to find dealers in the US.

BONUS

You can get any color scheme and design you want.

REALLY HIDDEN?

Yes. Very few bike shops have ever even heard of Mercian.

HOW TO GET IT

Tough one. You need to be measured by a good bike shop pro (not the young guy with the silicone Livestrong bracelet, but the old guy with the crazy hair), then send the measurements to Mercian. They’ll guide you from there. Or contact them and ask if there are any dealers in your area.

AVAILABLE IN BLACK?

Yes

LANDS’ END MEN'S TRADITIONAL FIT COLORED DENIM JEANS

I was caught up in the first wave of the ‘Casual Friday’ tide in the late 1990s. The big-name international bank where I worked wanted to let its tightly-wound hair down a little, to show how hip it was, and a cool place to work, being that it was young and dynamic and, you know, hip and all. One day a week, at least. So they jumped all over Casual Friday. Which meant that all of us worker bees jumped all over the Banana Republics, Lord & Taylors, and Bloomingdales, and even the Casual Males and Men’s Wearhouses within a day’s hike of our pads. We showed how casually empowered we were by doing exactly what the boards of directors intended us to: patronize men’s casual departments all over the city. Chinos, and polos, and loafers, and colored socks. Ralph Lauren never had it so good.

Hip as everybody was feeling, though, there was a strict no-jeans policy. Technically, it was a ‘no blue jeans’ policy. All my jeans were black anyway, so I thought about it a little while before deciding I better not. My jeans were worn, faded, had rough spots where the denim was coming undone; you know, they were jeans, man. Not for the office, not in front of the dress-shoes-on-the-beach-wearing, eyebrow-curling-in-disapproval types. So jeans were a no-go. Or so I thought.

Some of my jeans, man were Lands’ End. They’re good, tough, and (now) broken in. Solid, but nothing too special. I bought them online (I know!), so after that I got a catalog in the mail about once every three weeks. I leafed through and tossed them, usually without much thought. Then came that casual feeling, and I started looking a little more closely to see if there was anything in the catalog I could use. That’s when I noticed the colored denim jeans. They were cut like jeans, and looked like they were dyed all the way through. It seemed they didn’t have contrasting stitching, either - another trick for staying under the jeans radar. I went on to their website, where I could zoom in on the photo, and lucky me, no contrasting stitching! So, denim that didn’t look like denim, but jeans that felt like jeans. I ordered a pair the same size as my jeans, man jeans. They worked out just great; came Casual Friday, nobody said a word. Or maybe nobody cared.

Turns out, they’re such great jeans, so comfortable, so deep black, so fast to break in, it’s the only kind I wear. To bookstores, for coffee, the movies, the Met; I even wear them hiking in the rocky hills of the Hudson River Valley, and they hold up as well as any others.

Now that’s what I call jeans, man.

HISTORY

Lands’ End started in 1963. By the 1980s, they shifted from mainly sailing gear to mainly clothing, including 'preppie' styles. Presumably jeans followed suit (get it? Followed ‘suit’!).

STANDOUT FEATURE/WHAT MAKES IT GREAT

Look like new, feel like broken-in.

CHEAP?

Yes, cheaper than Gap jeans.

VALUE (GREATNESS/PRICE RATIO)

$40 for jeans better than $100 Banana Republics? I give it a rating of OFS (out-effing-standing).

CATCH

You have to buy before you try.

BONUS

Lands’ End lets you pick your inseam (length) in quarter-inch increments, no extra charge.

FUNNY FACT

According to the Lands’ End website, the misplaced apostrophe in the company name was originally a typo that went on all their stationery and signage, but they couldn’t afford to order replacements, so they just went with it. Musta worked.

REALLY HIDDEN?

Yes – nobody knows about these.

HOW TO GET THEM

Order from the Lands’ End website. Some Sears stores (I know!) might have them, but without the quarter-inch inseam increments.

AVAILABLE IN BLACK?

Yes.

CROCS CLASSICS

I was in Las Vegas several years ago, and stayed at a hotel near the then-new Fashion Show Mall. I went there a few times, and saw a couple of eager teenagers/twentysomethings hawking these supremely ugly German-looking rubber ‘clogs’ from a cart in the middle of the mall floor. I immediately thought they must be undergrads from UNLV business school working on a class project to prove the free market works if you just try hard enough. I felt sorry for them, just like I feel sorry for the New York City kids trying to sell Hershey bars and packs of Starburst on the sidewalks and subways in Midtown so they can buy new basketball uniforms for their high school (and prove the free market works if you just try hard enough).

So I tried on a pair. They were a little squishy, but not in a bad way. I always followed the Billy-Crystal-as-Fernando-Lamas dictum, “It’s better to look good than to feel good”, so I passed. These things were, and still are, hideous. They do not – repeat: NOT - grow on you. But every time I went to the mall, and listened to those eager kids, and looked at the (still) low $29.99 price tag, my style resolve weakened just a little.

So on my last day in Vegas, on the way to Please-Take-Off-Your-Shoes-Sir Airport, I broke down and bought a pair. What the hell, right? I mean, they were cheap, roomy, easy to take off and put back on, made of urethane (that’s ‘fancy rubber’ in dog years), making them airport friendly. And I almost always loosen or take off my shoes when flying anyway. I could just factor them into the price of my plane ticket, and toss them when I got home. Kind of like those little one-time-use toothbrushes the airlines throw at you on overnight flights.

Funny thing, once I got back to NYC (where I walk practically everywhere), I wore them every day for two weeks straight. Then one morning I woke up and I noticed that my plantar fasciitis (that’s ‘heel spurs’ in dog years) was gone. That is, it didn’t feel like my first step out of bed was right onto a roofing nail; also, my feet/legs/back didn’t hurt after standing in line for an hour to see Alien vs. Predator. Or was that Batman Begins? Now I have three pairs. Because sometimes it’s better to feel good than to look good.

Sorry, Fernando Lamas.

HISTORY

Crocs sprouted sometime in 2004.

STANDOUT FEATURE/WHAT MAKES THEM GREAT

These pieces of footwear (I still can’t call them ‘shoes’) really are really therapeutic, really. Whenever I have tired feet, like after spending a day in my brogues (that’s ‘business shoes’ in dog years), I put on my Crocs just to walk around my apartment, and they feel better INSTANTLY - no joke.

CHEAP?

You bet.

VALUE (GREATNESS/PRICE RATIO)

Thirty bucks for the originals. That’s about what a taxi to the orthopedist’s costs. I give them a score of UFB (Un-Effing-Believable).

CATCH

Hideous. I mean, really hideous. Plus these don’t do well on smooth wet surfaces, even though they were originally pushed as boating shoes (still haven’t figured that out).

BONUS

The perfect shoes for kids, at least until they get traumatized by the elementary school fashion police (still haven’t figured that out).

HIDDEN GEM?

Hardly. They’re all too visible, especially the neon orange and yellow ones. Nothing stealthy here. They’re so ugly, you can’t help noticing them.

HOW TO GET ‘EM

Crocs now has actual stores, and you can always buy from their own or other websites. Some sizes, like my men’s 12, seem to be available only at Crocs stores (still haven’t figured that out).

AVAILABLE IN BLACK?

Yes.

VICTORINOX SWISS ARMY CLASSIC KEYCHAIN POCKET KNIFE

I loved my Dad, and my Dad loved me; he also loved pocket knives, especially Swiss Army pocket knives. When we were kids, he made sure me and my brother always had at least one good pocket knife. Meaning at least one good Swiss Army pocket knife. We used the little magnifying glasses to burn holes in dried-up leaves, the little saws to cut off small branches from trees, the big blades to sharpen the branches into spears, the files to smooth the ends of the spears. We would play with our newly-fashioned spears, pretending and convincing ourselves that we could fight off bears and snakes and hunt rabbits and deer and feed ourselves in the wild. At least we would do that until my Mom called us inside for dinner. Then we would watch Grizzly Adams on TV and do the whole thing over again the next day. Man it was great to be a kid with a really good pocket knife.

I grew up, moved to the big city, and for the most part stopped carving spears. But a good pocket knife is still a pretty useful thing to have around. Mine cut open UPS boxes, uncorked bottles of wine, pulled out splinters, filed down rough edges, all sorts of things. I found it on the street, while I was riding my bike. It has a little clock on its case, which I actually think is a Swatch. So I can even use my knife to tell time if I need.

I found another one on the street, again riding my bike (honest!). It’s a small one, with a keychain ring, the Classic. It had been run over by a car, so the case was slightly broken, and the tweezers were gone. I brought it to the Victorinox store in SoHo, and they sent it to Switzerland to be cleaned, sharpened, oiled, and to fix the busted case. When I got it back, it really was like new. They even gave me a new pair of tweezers. Oh, and there was no charge, not even for shipping. Now it’s on my keychain and when I’m out I use it to open uncooperative packaging, cut fraying threads and other loose ends, pull out splinters, all sorts of things, only smaller.

Boy it's great to be an adult with a really good pocket knife.

HISTORY

Victorinox started making knives for the Swiss army in 1897, when I guess they instantly established a worldwide reputation for quality, excellence, and innovation. Or something to that effect, if you read their website.

STANDOUT FEATURE/WHAT MAKES IT GREAT

Really does fit on your keychain. Just the right size. Big enough to be useful, not so big that it cramps your pocket style.

CHEAP?

Yup.

VALUE (GREATNESS/PRICE RATIO)

Twenty bucks for precision surgical steel. That’s enough for a grade of PDG (Pretty Damn Good).

CATCH

You might forget you have it when you try to go through airport security.

BONUS

Free lifetime repair service from Victorinox.

A HIDDEN GEM?

Yes and no. Most people know what a Swiss Army Knife is. But they might not know that they come in this size.

HOW TO GET IT

Victorinox’s US website, Victorinox stores, Amazon, camping stores, Macy’s, other department stores.

AVAILABLE IN BLACK?

Yes.

What's available in black?

“What’s ‘available in black’?”

you may ask. That’s a good question. Because a lot of good stuff is available in black, but not everything. Everyday things, usually small, that can make a big difference in our lives. That make a difference in my everyday life, anyway. They don’t need to be expensive; in fact, economy is a fine characteristic, and a key component of value.

Which would be better: something that’s elegant and expensive, and so attracts attention, but doesn’t perform properly? Or something that’s inexpensive, even cheap, and so maybe even attracts “the wrong kind of” attention, but is so practical, so useful, as to be valuable? You see, I think it's a false choice. There’s no fundamental reason why something that’s useful and practical can’t be attractive, even elegant.

And there’s usually no excuse for whatever you’re after not to be had in black. The most versatile of colors, it’s subtle, it goes with everything. And it’s easier to clean.

These are objects which offer good value, strive for good style, and are not ubiquitous. They are hidden gems, mostly. Emphasis on ‘mostly’, because stealth is more art than science. And once something attractive hits the radar, it makes the descent from ‘style’ to ‘fashion’, then fades.

So I’ll take a look at certain items, certain objects from time to time – weigh the merits, look for catches, suss out their value, describe what makes them true gems. See if they’re the stuff for future sentiment.

Oh, and let you know if they’re available in black.

R.O.G.V.